| Hello ,
One day I was talking about body image with my girl, enthusiastically telling her how every body is different, how beauty is in each one of us, how each of us is one-of-a-kind, with a body that changes throughout our lives. At the end of the conversation, I also mentioned that, because she is MY daughter, and her dad's daughter, she would probably grow up with a body sort of like mine.
Her eyes sparkled. She was so excited. She gazed at my body approvingly. She said, "I WANT a body like yours!!!" and skipped off to enjoy the idea of growing up with a body just like mine. I stood grinning, entirely tickled.
I have to tell you that giving birth, breastfeeding, and sharing bath time with my little one has totally changed my body image. My gratitude and awe for what my body has done for me and my daughter has infused my body with a kind of daily sparkle of miracle that it didn't have before.
Like most women in our culture, I grew up pretty disconnected from my body, always trying to make it look different, somehow "better" than it was.
In this moment with my daughter, I realized two things.
First, I realized that the cultural idea of beauty had had no effect, so far, on my young daughter's idea of beauty. She found my body beautiful because of what it had been for her, and because of who I am to her. I realized that I could look at my body through her eyes.
Second, I realized that every moment of discontent with my body that I revealed to my daughter would settle into her psyche, affecting her own body image - because she wanted a body "just like mine", and would also soak up so much more from me. She will be like me in so many ways.
As a mom, I am humbled by the urgency I feel around healing, and learning to love myself. ****Here, I remind myself, and you, that all of our imperfections are part of the game. Our UNhealed parts teach our children, too, and give us the opportunity to show them what the healing journey looks like.****
The conversation above happened a couple of years ago, and every month I live in this body, I love it more. My body may not be more beautiful now than it was when I was a teenager, but it is more beautiful to me. As a teenager, my culturally beautiful body with a perfectly round bottom and tiny waist gave me angst. Now, I am aware that my body has given me more pleasure than I could have imagined, in so many ways. The miracle was always there, but it is only now that I feel that miracle every day.
As Mother's Day approaches, I invite you to look at your body in the mirror, and to get in touch with the miracle that is you, in flesh and blood. Rather than feeling ruefully like someday your adoring child might realize the truth about the beauty of your body, instead consider the possibility that they already know the truth - a truth that someday YOU might realize.
"Mama, you're beautiful."
In joy,
Lisa Kathleen
P.S. If you're wanting to delve deeper into the miracle of YOU, I'd love to invite you to join a Women's Wellness Circle: Exploring Experiences and Expressions of Motherhood. All of you is welcome - the insecure, the questioning, the overwhelmed, the wildly hopeful. All of you.
P.P.S. The information is below, and my next few emails will share more about the circles.
P.P.P.S. You can always call to chat about whether a circle might be a fit for you! 403-607-1463 |
