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Supporting Conscious Parents in Being Peaceful, Real, and Loving
(even when your children are testing you the most...) |
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Times of Crisis |
June, 2013 | |
Hello ,
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This morning I am quiet and awed, and occasionally tearful, as I watch my city pull together.
For those of you receiving this that are outside of Alberta, you have probably heard the news of massive flooding in my city, Calgary, and surrounding areas.
It is touching and awe-inspiring as people lift each other up, open their homes, offer supplies and labour, and care for each other, physically and emotionally.
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People are asking me what might be important to share with children through this difficult situation, and I do have some thoughts.
Share the big picture.
If you show pictures of situations, share specifically how the people involved are handling the situation, and share the life lessons that you see and feel. "People take care of each other." "We are all working together." "I am looking for my gratitude right now."
Grieve losses.
When emotion bubbles up (yours or your child's), let it flow. Let your child know that emotion is how we process our experiences, and that when feelings flow freely, we can think, love and help each other better.
Give context.
If someone is snappish or abrupt, remember that they are likely feeling worried or scared about the situation. "I think that you're feeling worried right now, and that your feeling is coming out looking like mad." Remind yourself and your children that in times like these, we all especially need each others' kindness.
Focus on what is left.
In Calgary, the cooperation and mutual support, at so many levels, has been truly beautiful. Out loud and often, share what you are grateful for, with your children. It is my personal belief that gratitude is the cure for pretty much everything, and constantly returning to it will give your child something firm to hold onto.
Let your child cling.
When children feel powerless and overwhelmed, they need their source of security close by, and everyone needs to know loved ones are safe. Yesterday I was working in the kitchen an my daughter said, "I'm going to go play in the yard, 'kay, mom?" I instantly felt fear, and told her that right then, even though I knew our yard was safe, I had a bit of a feeling like anything could happen, and that I wanted her extra close by, so that I could be sure that she was okay. Your child is likely to feel the same, and may for several months. Acknowledge, reassure, and allow their closeness. Pull them in.
Be with friends, family, or community.
Surround yourself with community, however you can. Help others. Share with your children how this is happening, and include them in the process. Feel the lightness that comes when we lift others and allow ourselves to be lifted.
Tell stories.
Resilience - a key piece of human happiness and success in life - is built in this kind of situation. Tell stories of resilience, teamwork, triumph, and ingenuity in difficult times. Tell these stories again, over and over. When I was about 11, I was snowed in over Christmas with my dad and two brothers in a motel in a small town in Colorado. We (sort of) cooked a turkey and we put up a "tree" made of skis and a quilt, decorated with hair ribbons. I've told this story over and over, and when my daughter's elaborate birthday plans were completely messed up by the flood, she was able to hold on to this story to help her through her initial disappointment. The story of her birthday this year will be a story of resilience that she tells her own children someday.
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I am sending so much love to all of those affected by the flooding - and to all of you who are supporting them. So much love.
In joy,
Lisa Kathleen
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Looking
for
Rainbows
On Friday, as worsening news poured in, I looked at the weather report. "Rain Saturday, rain Sunday, rain Monday...only Tuesday does the rain let up...."
My daughter, in great joy, looked up at me and said,
"Maybe there'll
be a RAINBOW, mommy!"
Yesterday, we saw a rainbow, and I hope that you did, too.
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Because
princesses
are problem solvers, team workers, and compassionate helpers.
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